Episode 3, the Year 2019 (Days 11-30)
Every 10 Days is the newsletter of this blog. This is where I curate my reflections throughout the week or every 10 days.
We walked into the small clinic of my mom’s surgeon. The yellow painted walls gave me a nostalgic feeling. The first time we were here was the time the doctor explained to us that my mom needs surgery. The alternative medicine that my mom had to endure made her condition worse. Cancer metastasized almost everywhere on her abdomen. The operation is non-negotiable. But it was also the time when the doctor told us that Stage 4 cancer is now curable.
Now, 8 months and 8 chemo sessions after, we are here again for the follow-up checkup. With us are the lab test results. The doctor reported that the results were excellent. Low tumour counts. Clear organs.
“Will I be OK now?”, asked my mom.
“Maam, that’s a very unfair question for the both of us,” he said while looking at my mom, then my dad, then me. “If I tell you that you will be OK, then you will be complacent. If I tell you that you are not OK, then you will be paranoid. Let us be grateful that when you first visited me, you are not OK. Now your results are OK.”
We were speechless. His words pierced in my heart for I worried a lot and forgotten to celebrate small breakthroughs. The good doctor’s words taught us about contentment, gratitude, being in the moment and living one day at a time.
Today matters. No day but today.
365 Days of Yoga and Meditation
Shirshasana or headstand frustrates me a lot. Not because I am not strong but because I am afraid. I believe I have a strong core. According to my teachers, I have no reason to be scared because the wall on my back will support me. But my mind is telling me to be afraid. Most of my classmates can already do this, even those who did yoga for the first time.
I am generally afraid of inversions or my head upside down. When I was a kid, I was a daredevil with amusement parks except for the rollercoaster with a loop. I dread it. My friends told me I can hardly feel that I am upside down because the whole ride is very swift. I still did not dare.
Going back, I am still taking it slowly, without rushing. It takes a lot of mental strength to get pass through envy of the person next to me who can easily pull it off or not being dependent on the wall. Killing your inner saboteur is also part of the process in Yoga. But, I can almost do it halfway. I cannot straighten up my legs yet. A few weeks ago, I cannot do a thing. My fear was 100%, now it’s just 95! Why not celebrate small successes?
Stepping on the mat this week was very challenging. It took a lot of energy to push myself to not ruin my streak. I was feeling a bit feverish last Sunday, but I had to wake up early for a particular task at work. I planned the day out, and I have no chance to step on the mat except after waking up. I also had to travel this week outside the province, so I was carrying my mat all the time. But I did it! 30 days streak!
On meditation, I had a breakthrough this week. I had a 30-minute meditation session! It was very relaxing. Unfortunately, I missed 2 sessions, breaking my streak.
I was swamped this week because of the various trade fairs our office conducted. We also had a caravan in Vigan City, Philippines during the Kannawidan Festival. I am pretty sure I am killing my work.
My lesson at work this week is to not take things personally. Drama arises when we think that everything is always about us. So next week, I will try my best to clear negative energies by staying away from drama and self-pity.
On blogging, I was on a roll again this week. I wrote a Pre-Chinese New Year Post and featured another ethical enterprise. I am now enjoying blogging especially when I stopped looking at stats, stopped worrying about the number of followers and most importantly, stopped being critical about my writing style and even grammar rules.
What I have been consuming on the internet:
Recently, I had a conversation with artisans who confessed to me that their workstations are messy. They told me that it’s a common denominator for creatives. This Medium article by Cathy Hutchinson is a good suggestion for creatives to embrace minimalism. But hey, it’s just a suggestion!
This Elephant Journal article was pretty fun to read, but it’s very informative. For the longest time, I believed in the dogmatic Jesus until I changed my perspective. Now, I get to appreciate Jesus more because I started opening up. This article backed it up.
Trixie and Katya’s Unhhh is a mixture of dark humour, wit and sometimes plain nonsense. I love their episode about religion. Enjoy watching this gospel according to drag queens
That’s it for this week. I hope you had an awesome January and praying that you will have the best days ahead of you!