I want to apologize that I was not able to post the 6th episode of this newsletter on time. I was not feeling well the whole week. I had the flu and another bad Canker Sore breakout. I have days like these when my body hates me and when my immune system is all over the place. Every routine I set since Day 1 of this year stopped, except for Yoga. I was not able to journal, read an article, wake up early, etc.
My emotions were also all over the place. I had to message a few of my officemates, and I confessed to them that I feel that my clients hate me and I think that I am a zombie going to work every day.
And I was busy as fuck the whole week! Something inside me would reject the idea of rest. I still want to be productive regardless of my physical and emotional condition. Unfortunately, I finished nothing! Everything I have done at work was half baked, and I almost blacked out while walking.
As I write this, I am still feeling a bit down. My canker sore is still throbbing. Glad the flu is gone though. I still dread work next week. I am still emotional af. I am not sure how I was able to write this, maybe thanks to the Cappucino I am currently drinking.
To make the long story short, my life was off the track this week.
And I realized that IT IS FUCKING OK TO HAVE DAYS LIKE THESE. Why should I be hard on myself, right?
I am not sure if I am making any sense, but you know the drill. Haha!
Yoga and meditation
Surprisingly, I have been able to have a consistent practice even though I have the flu. Why would I stop now? I have been practicing for two months, without a miss. Was it hard to do yoga while sick? Hell yeah! I have done a couple of bedtime yoga sessions, but I was still able to attend full classes at the studio.
This week, we had Iyengar Yoga at the Studio. In all fairness, we have tried various forms of yoga in the studio. Having different teachers is helpful for newbie yogis like me. We get to learn different yoga philosophies. And for a person who loves diversity, I am enjoying it!
On meditation, I have to confess that I have not meditated for weeks now since I felt that I was having shortness of breath. But next week, I promise not to take meditation for granted.
Because my dad went on a road trip to Kalinga, I was able to spend time with my mom this week. We went to church together. We had dinner a couple of times.
Spending time with my mom makes me happy and sad at the same time. It’s almost a year since she was diagnosed with Cancer, but I miss my mom before all this happened. You may say that I am ungrateful because she’s doing well now. I am very happy that she’s OK and all. Her spirit is stronger. My dad and I became bolder and braver because of this. We have learned a lot about this experience. You could say it is a blessing in disguise. BUT part of me is not content about her just being OK. I want her to be free from all this. I want her well. I don’t want her sickly. Can you blame me?
A generally bad week for most of us.
Well, when I thought I was having a bad bad time this week, the pale blue dot was having a bad week too. Blame it on the super moon?
Almost the people I talked to this week had the flu. The scary Momo app escalated its popularity on social media. A couple of kids died in the Philippines because of it. The Methodist church, the denomination where I belong, rejected the appeal of the members in the USA about allowing same-sex marriage and allowing LGBTQ clergy to preach.
I am very sorry for the very low mood of this week’s newsletter. I will try my best to give you a happy treat next week. Have a great week ahead!