Let me start this episode by quoting Charles Bukowski:
“We’re all going to die, all of us. What a circus! That alone should make us love each other, but it doesn’t. We are terrorized and flattened by life’s trivialities; we are eaten up by nothing.”
For the first time, I will be merging 2 Every 10 Days Newsletter. I have been swamped these past few days, and I stopped blogging for a while. But now, I am happy to be back, updating this blog.
March was a tough month last year. This was the month when mom was diagnosed with Cancer. Ironically, this month is Colon Cancer Awareness month. You will find a lot of updates and stories on the blog about my mom. If you have read my About Me page, this blog was a creative outlet to express my thoughts about our battle with cancer.
I remembered a year ago when hope was very dim. When we were slapped with the shocking news that my mom’s cancer is Stage 4, I asked my dad for dinner. I told him that we should take mom to Baguio, her favourite place. We need to spend more quality time with her. We were both crying while in the restaurant, not caring what other customers will think. He told me, “It’s just the 3 of us. I can’t believe He will take your mom soon.”
The waiting game leading to a series of bad news is physically and mentally exhausting. The lab results reporting that cancer has spread here and there made us all numb. I was crying while shouting: ARE YOU DONE YET, YOU FUCKTARD OF A UNIVERSE?
But God is very kind to us. After a year, mom is still OK. Last Sunday, she led the worship service for the first time since her diagnosis. Last night, she told me that she attended choir practice and will sing this Sunday again. We were busy the whole month because of Thanksgiving dinners with friends and family. We celebrated God’s grace and mom’s strength.
Mom is still alive now because she wants to live. She’s an inspiration especially for me.
BUJO and Social Media Fast
A couple of days ago, I decided to deactivate my social media accounts. I also deleted the apps to focus more on reading, writing and practicing yoga. I also migrated my online journal to a notebook and applied the Bullet Journal (BUJO) system again. I find writing using pen and paper very effective than typing my thoughts. I am minimizing my screen time to give more time and space for meaningful activities. I will write about Bujo and Soc Media fast on my next posts.
Yoga practice and my fellow yogis are my sources of joy this month. For a person with an INFP personality type, my social health is ironically the highest this month. I get to hang out with them twice a week. On the other hand, the yoga practice itself improved my spiritual and physical health.
What I have been consuming online/offline:
I finally finished the book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson. Here are 5 of my favourite:
The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.
Pain is an inextricable thread in the fabric of life, and to tear it out is not only impossible, but destructive: attempting to tear it out unravels everything else with it. To try to avoid pain is to give too many fucks about pain. In contrast, if you’re able to not give a fuck about pain, you become unstoppable.
We can be truly successful only at something we’re willing to fail at.
This is why our problems are recursive and unavoidable. The person you marry is the person you fight with. The house you buy is the house you repair. The dream job you take is the job you stress over. Everything comes with an inherent sacrifice—whatever makes us feel good will also inevitably make us feel bad.
The avoidance of suffering is a form of suffering.
Let me end this post with another Charles Bukowski quote. haha
“To do a dull thing with style-now that’s what I call art.”